Quick Learning and Probably the Hardest Riddle of them All!

Ever thought of getting a college degree in one year?
David Banh did!

A year and a summer later, he was a U.Va. alumnus.

--Aaron Kessler, The Daily Progress

Fucking incredible!

The riddle:

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?